Every day life gives us new challenges. What should we do with them? Most of the time I have no answers to those kind of questions, and I ask myself a lot of questions. Self reflection is a double edged sword, an athame I never wanted. Yet it presents itself to me all the time. I look in the mirror and ask myself “Now what?”. Another disappointment brings forth a time for reinvention for me…again.
We all have a story to tell, with some good and some bad. I have beautiful memories of playing frisbee on the beach with my second husband and our puppy dog. It was one of those rare days when time stood still for us. It was a beautiful and cloudless day with moderate humidity. Yes I actually like humidity. To me humidity is like a warm hug. I guess I may have thin blood haha. It was such a carefree day that even after all these years I still remember that day as if it was yesterday. I know that it’s not so.
I have a number of beautiful memories and some very bad memories. I have done my best to concentrate on the good, but unfortunately that is not always the case. Sometimes bad memories can seep into my consciousness in the blink of an eye and it’s so hard to shake it off. How amazing it is that bad memories stick in our minds like gorilla glue, but happy memories have fleeting moments of smiles. I struggle like an internal civil war.
What struggles: in simplicity…
- Self esteem
- People phobic
- Short term memory loss
- Clinical depression
- Death, death and more death
We all experience some sort trauma, yet how we react to it is crucial for emotional survival. I can admit that I don’t always handle things well. When my first husband died I didn’t tell anyone for a good six months. I took care of the funeral and the arrangements with his family and I told my family nothing. I did not want to say it out loud to them. That denial, at least on one side kept him alive for me. My memories were happy and vivid and I loved that time I stole for myself.
Then in the course of our lives different friendships come and go. We’ve all had our seasons of friends that are around us for a short period of time and some longer. Strange isn’t it, how I haven’t been able to maintain a healthy friendship with women, yet my two best friends are men I’ve known for over twenty five years and the friendships are as strong as ever. It boggles my mind sometimes. I guess that in my area of living I just don’t have good luck with having female friendships. I have accepted it, yet in a bittersweet way. Disappointments happen and we must adjust to them. I wish them well but it just wasn’t meant to be.
So when disappointments of friendships, family or work happens, what do you do? Well, I happen to have plenty of experience in reinventing myself after my life shifts into a different direction. Do you do that too?
What kind on reinventing do you do?
I have repeatedly chosen the same kinds of ways to re-energize myself and most of the time it had its advantages. It was even fun and exciting to begin again in a unique way. I smile when I recall my numerous methods.
I admit that my methods were and are simple ones.
Reintroduce myself to aerobics and not just yoga
Go to the beach more often to read, write and sketch
Go to the mall. Sounds funny but since I’m not a mall person I go and window shop, have a quiet and solo lunch and enjoy being in solitude
And as I’m in said mall, I get a spontaneous itch for the beauty salon
Time for some outer changes, so I go to the salon, get a shaping trim, color my hair and get a condition treatment. A wonderful spa time of about four hours to myself…Awesome
Then I truly do a smidge of shopping and buy a few pieces of clothing, or shoes or a pocketbook. It all depends on my wallet and mood. It has been nice to at least look and try it on. The distraction has been a blessing
One of the things I perpetually get for myself is scented candles. My favorite is lavender. I love the softness of the color. That softness, to me, is like an invitation to inner peace.
In times of disappointment I do tend to venture into myself to reflect on my decisions of yesterday, today and for tomorrow. It’s amazing that my brain hasn’t exploded lol!!!
I can say that I believe everyone should have an opportunity to reinvent themselves. Shifting your life into a new direction that affects your mind, heart and spirit can be very therapeutic. I personally like doing it for myself.
Is it a bit of ego boosting? Maybe, but I do it to boost myself and not to please anyone. I’ve made that mistake already and learned from it.
Will I be doing it again, now, in this stage of my life? Yes! It seems appropriate for me to do.
So I start with the basics of: determination of exercise. The endorphins of exercise has been a positive response to me before and I hope for a repeat performance. Next is another simple basic: get my hair done. It’s been too long since I went to a salon for some self relaxation treatment. I love to spend hours in the salon, especially when under the dryer as I get a condition treatment. It’s my utter quiet time. I love it. If the sun is shining I love to take a joy ride. Now I do that for more than one reason, yet the most important is that when I go for a positive leisure I minimize anxiety inside me. That’s most important. The other is the sheer enjoyment of being alone with my thoughts. I’ve always conjured up great ideas when I drive. I miss those days. Time to get them back!
I don’t believe that reinventing yourself is because you should be unhappy with who you are, far from that. In my personal experiences I discovered that little changes within myself helps me to re energize my emotional and mental psyche. For some reason it actually works for me. It may sound silly but I love to do it. To me it’s like having a fresh start without moving to another state (not yet for me).
So once again I’m traveling the road to reinvention and I’m actually looking forward to it. I’ve already lost seven pounds with my alteration of eating and exercise. It feels a bit strange considering my anxiety. My body is actually beginning to adjust nicely. A little time and patience and I’ll lose the weight I want to and get those endorphins souring. I look forward to that.
So if you feel the urge to reinvent yourself, I say go for it. As long as you’re not hurting anyone then why not. Fulfill your heart with gladness and remember to love yourself first and the rest will follow.